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I spot one—red heels, smokin’ a cig—real cool, like she owns the block. I’m thinkin’, “Homer, you big lug, don’t stare!” But—D’oh!—she winks, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory. Costs? Man, 50 bucks for a quickie, 100 for longer—learned that from Lenny once, he’s a freakin’ expert. Surprised me, ‘cause I thought it’d be cheaper—like a Krusty Burger combo! Ha! “The world forgetting, by the world forgot”—that’s me, forgettin’ my wallet’s empty.

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First off, I had to get ready for my Maiko gig. You know, the whole geisha vibe, but in Lithuania. I mean, who knew Druskininkai had such a cool scene? I was feeling myself, all decked out in my kimono, but then I realized I forgot my fan. Ugh! Major facepalm moment. I dashed down Maironio Street, dodging tourists like I was in some kind of obstacle course.

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