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So, picture this—some dimly lit room, oil everywhere, slippery as heck. I’m like, “Hmm… Homer’d slip and sue!” But nah, it’s not just rubbin’ backs, it’s this whole secret art! Been around forever—heard the Romans were freaky with it, massagin’ with olive oil, gettin’ all steamy before bath time. Little known fact, huh? Bet ya didn’t know that! Made me happy, thinkin’ history’s so naughty!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady sits next to me. She starts talking about her cat. I’m not even kidding. She goes on and on about Mr. Whiskers and how he caught a mouse. I’m trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I don’t care about your cat’s hunting skills.” But she’s sweet, so I nod and smile.

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