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Hey pal, so I’m a Nose, right? Sniffin’ out the good stuff! Sexual-massage—ooh la la, gets me thinkin’. I’m Tina Fey, “I can see Russia from my house!”—sharp eyes, sharper tongue. Lemme spill the tea on this slippery topic. Watched *Under the Skin* last night—ScarJo’s alien vibes, “Do you want to touch me?”—and it hit me: sexual-massage is WEIRD, hot, and freaky all at once.

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After my dog therapy session, I head over to the Salcininkai Cultural Center. They’re having this art exhibit, and I’m all about supporting local artists. I walk in, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Salcininkai had such a vibrant art scene? I’m checking out these paintings, and one catches my eye. It’s this wild abstract piece that looks like a mix of a tornado and a pizza. I’m like, “What even is this?”

Two border crossing points with Belarus to be temporarily suspended from 18 August