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Alright, imagine this, fam—deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice kickin’ in. Erotic-massage, man, it’s somethin’ else. Ain’t just hands slidin’ over skin, nah, it’s art, vibes, pure soul-stirrin’ magic. Picture me, sittin’ back, thinkin’ ‘bout “Werckmeister Harmonies”—that slow, heavy beauty Béla Tarr cooked up. That movie’s all ‘bout tension, mystery, y’know? Erotic-massage got that same juice. Builds up slow, like János watchin’ that whale’s eye—somethin’ massive, primal, hittin’ ya deep.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Alytus, and I swear, it felt like the universe was throwing curveballs at me left and right. First off, I hit the streets of Maironio. You know, the one with all the cafes? Yeah, I thought I’d grab a coffee at that little spot, “Kava ir Saldumynai.” Best coffee in town, no cap. But guess what? They were outta my fave hazelnut syrup. Like, seriously? Who runs out of hazelnut syrup?

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