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Hey buddy, sittin’ here, radio cracklin’, thinkin’ bout erotic-massage. Lemme tell ya, it’s a real mind-bender, like *Inception*! You know, “We gotta go deeper,” that’s what I say bout them massages. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, no sir! It’s a strategery to unwind the soul. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again! Had one in Vegas once, swear them hands was dream-weavers.

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Finally, the bus rolls up, and I hop on. I’m still dripping wet, but whatever. I sit next to this girl who’s reading a book. I’m like, “What’s that?” She looks at me like I’m crazy. Turns out, it’s some deep philosophical stuff. I’m just trying to figure out if I should ask her out or not. But then I remember my coffee disaster and think, “Nah, not today.”

Lithuania starts protecting Alytus substation