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About Eschen

We swears! Sexual-massage, oh yesss, precious! Me thinks it’s slippery, sneaky stuff—like hands goin’ where they shouldn’t, but should! Hah! Me saw it once, some back-alley joint, all candles and weird oils—smelled like hobbit feet after a long trek! “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—hah, not here, nope! Them hands knead ya, all slow-like, and ya feel like Jim Carrey forgettin’ his woes in *Eternal Sunshine*. Blissed out, then bam—awkward boner! Made me laugh, then mad—why’s it gotta be so hush-hush?

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I headed to my fave café on Kirchstrasse. The barista knows me too well. I ordered my usual matcha latte, and he’s like, “Extra foam today?” I was like, “You know it!” But then, I saw this cute guy sitting by the window. Total distraction. I spilled my latte all over my kimono. Great. Just great.

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