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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m here, sizin’ up sexual-massage like I’m the bouncer at the club, decidin’ who gets in. Lemme tell ya, honey, this ain’t no basic rubdown – it’s a vibe, a whole mood! I’m thinkin’ bout Monty from *25th Hour*, you know, Edward Norton spillin’ his guts in that mirror scene, all raw and real – “Fuck me? Fuck you!” That’s the energy I’m bringin’ to this sexual-massage talk, ‘cause it’s messy, it’s deep, it’s in ya face.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in Gamprin, right? This tiny lil’ place in Liechtenstein. I mean, it’s like a postcard come to life. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be epic!” Spoiler alert: it was, but not in the way I thought.

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