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Dunno why it ain’t mainstream, tho – should be NHS standard! Imagine, “Right, Dave, yer ergonomic chair’s knackered, have a rub-down instead!” I’d be over the moon, pal. Exaggerating a tad, but it’s criminal it’s niche. Oh, and here’s a quirky one – in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands” – erotic-massage with a twist, all bubbly and bonkers. Mental, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, heavy rain. I’m runnin’ for cover, and I end up duckin’ into this little café on Kabanbay Batyr Street. I order a cup of tea, and the barista is super chill. We start chattin’, and I find out she’s from Almaty. I’m like, “Why’d you move here?” She says she loves the vibe. I’m thinkin’, “Vibe? It’s just a bunch of concrete!” But hey, to each their own, right?

Astana continues top form with 1-2 punch in Turkey: López wins stage while Poels retains leader’s jersey