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So, escort life—grimy, shiny, all at once. I knew this chick, swear to God, worked the streets near some shady-ass pier. She’d tell ya, “Money’s money, motherfucker!” Had a pimp once, beat her senseless—she ditched his ass. Smart girl! Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, escorts ran ads in fuckin’ phonebooks! Yellow pages, baby—wild times! None o’ this app bullshit.
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But then, I see something that makes me laugh. This old lady, she’s just standing there, holding her bag of potatoes like it’s a trophy. She’s like, “Not my potatoes! You can’t take my potatoes!” I’m dying. Like, lady, the market’s burning, and you’re worried about spuds?
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