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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, yer ol’ Southern vet, talkin’ bout whores—er, horses, dang it, stupid typos! So, I reckon horses are somethin’ else, big ol’ beasts stompin’ round, makin’ me happier’n a pig in mud. Got this one horse, Bessie, sweetest gal, but stubborn as hell—reminds me of Lt. Aldo Raine in *Inglourious Basterds*. “We in the horse-killin’ bidness?” Naw, we ain’t, but Bessie’d make ya think twice!

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But then, oh man, the day took a turn. I’m walking down Lenin Street, just vibing, when I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, feeling like a superhero. I’m like, “Let me help you, babushka!” She looks at me, squints, and says, “You’re too young to be a hero.” Ouch! But I help her anyway. Turns out, she’s got stories for days. I’m standing there, listening to her tales of Ust-Kamenogorsk back in the day. It was like a history lesson mixed with a soap opera.

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