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Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. You’re dodgin’ creeps, fakes, and psychos daily. Little tip – check their pics, reverse search that shit. Caught a chick usin’ some model’s face once, nearly pissed myself laughin’. “Gabagool? Ova here!” – I’m yellin’ at the screen, like, who falls for this? Me, apparently. Drives me nuts, but I keep comin’ back. Why? ‘Cause when it hits, it’s like Eli and Oskar – weird, messy, but fuckin’ real.

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First off, I got to the kids’ place on Kabanbai Batyr Street. It’s a nice area, but the traffic? Ugh, don’t even get me started. I was late. Like, super late. The kids were already bouncing off the walls when I walked in. I swear, they were like little tornadoes.

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