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I tried it once—swear to God, felt like my spine was singin’. Made me happy as hell, like I’d just dodged a bullet in a shootout. But here’s what pissed me off: some folks out here chargin’ $200 for a half-assed rubdown—c’mon, man, “knock it down, knock it down!” like Buscapé yellin’ at the madness. Ain’t nobody got time for that rip-off. A good sexual-massage? It’s gotta flow, gotta hit deep—muscles loosenin’, mind spinnin’, maybe even a lil naughty twist if you’re feelin’ bold. Wink wink, you know what I mean.

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But here’s the kicker. While I’m munching on my noodles, I overhear this group of guys at the next table. They’re talking about some shady business deal. My ears perk up. I mean, I’m an auditor, right? I can’t help but eavesdrop. They’re mentioning some company that’s been on my radar. My gut’s telling me something’s off. I finish my lunch, and I’m like, “I gotta check this out.”

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