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But—ugh—some parlors? Shady as fuck. Angry when they rush it, like, “Five creds, done.” Rip-off! “I’ve killed for less,” I growl in my head. Best ones take time, tease ya—build that dark, sweet vibe. Fun fact: Japan’s got “soaplands”—erotic-massage on steroids. Slippery, wild, borderline illegal. Exaggeratin? Maybe. Don’t care. Picturin those killers from the movie gettin one? Hilarious. “Death’s my art,” one says—massage’d melt that psycho.

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I had this meeting at the local community center. You know, the one near the old mosque? Yeah, that place. So, I’m all dressed up in my clerical garb, looking like a walking sermon. And then, boom! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the one that’s been there since last winter. Ugh! My shoes are soaked. Great start, right?

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