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Me, I’d rather watch Zodiac again—Gyllenhaal squintin’ at clues, beats awkward “wanna bang?” chats. Once saw a profile: “Loves true crime, Netflix, chill.” Thought, “She’ll kill ya, mate!” We hates it! Too risky, too fake—everyone’s a suspect. “I’m not gonna stop,” they say, scrollin’ fer more. Idiots.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud noise. It’s a group of guys playing some intense street basketball. I’m talking serious skills. I’m just standing there, watching, and I get this wild idea. I grab my phone and start filming. I’m like, “This is gonna be epic for my Insta!” But then, I trip over my own feet. Yup, classic. I fall, and everyone’s looking at me. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

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