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About Ust-Kamenogorsk

Oi, gets me goin tho—happy as a hobbit with second breakfast! Had this one time, right, some bloke in Rivendell—well, not really, just a spa—thought he’d get “extra.” You shall NOT pass that line, I roared in me head! Poor sod got kicked out, face redder than Smaug’s arse. Made me mad, ya know? Respect the craft, don’t be a twat!

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Then, boom! The door swings open. It’s this lady, all frantic. She’s like, “Help! My kid’s stuck in a tree!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m a barber, not a firefighter!” But she’s got that look, ya know? So, I grab my phone, call the fire department, and tell her to chill. Meanwhile, I’m still tryin’ to finish up with Mr. Bird’s Nest.