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Weird thing—some dudes fall asleep mid-massage, snorin while she’s grindin away! Hilarious, right? Total buzzkill tho. Me, I’d be wired, heart thumpin— “The forest hides its teeth…”—that’s the vibe. Surprised me first time I saw it live, how it’s half art, half tease. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but screw it—sexual-massage is a dance, a sneaky lil beast of its own. You’d get it, Clarice… ya would.

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Then, outta nowhere, this girl storms in. She’s fuming, like a kettle about to boil. Turns out, she just got dumped. I mean, who breaks up in the rain? That’s just cruel. So, I whip up a “Heartbreak Special” – it’s just a strong whiskey with a splash of bitters. She downs it like it’s water. I’m thinkin’, “Girl, slow down!” But she’s on a mission. Next thing I know, she’s crying and laughing at the same time. It’s a whole emotional rollercoaster, and I’m just the bartender trying to keep it together.

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