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Oh, and get this—some places, they use hot stones and shit. Hot stones! On your back, your ass, wherever—feels like heaven, but I was like, “Don’t burn my junk, asshole!” Surprised the hell outta me how good it was. Reminds me of *Almost Famous*, when Russell yells, “I am a golden god!”—that’s me, screamin’ it while some chick’s hands are slippin’ everywhere. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares, it’s MY story!

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We sit down, and he starts talking about this big project. I’m trying to focus, but all I can think about is that goat Askar saw. I mean, who puts a goat on a roof? Anyway, I manage to keep it together, and we wrap up the meeting. He leaves, and I’m like, “Phew, that wasn’t so bad.”

ASBC Heroes – Kazakhstan’s two-time National Champion and ASBC Asian Schoolboys Champion Batyrkhan Seitenov