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But—grrr—some places, total rip-off! Paid 50 quid once, got a 5-minute tickle—rubbish! Made me mad, stompin’ round, arms flappin’ like a daft bird. Then this other time—oh, happy days—lass knew her stuff. Kneadin’ me like dough, poppin’ knots—crack! Felt like a king, mate, proper lush. Surprised me, that—didn’t expect to feel, y’know, *alive*.

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Now, here’s where it gets crazy. I’m walkin’ towards the river, and I see this group of kids playin’ soccer. They’re havin’ a blast, right? I can’t help but smile. But then, one of ‘em kicks the ball, and it comes straight for me! I dodge it like a ninja, but I trip over my own feet. Classic!

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