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About Mubarak Al-Kabeer

Worst part? The liars! Sayin’ they’re 6’2”, ripped—then you meet ‘em, 5’5”, beer gut! Makes me wanna scream, “Don’t lie to me, you twerp!” Oh, and the pics—dick pics everywhere! Why?! I’d rather see Bart’s doodles! Sex-datin’s a job itself—dodgin’ weirdos, settin’ boundaries. Dangerous gig, like Mia dancin’ too close to the edge.

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But then, I see one of the kites get stuck in a palm tree. I’m like, “Oh no, not the palm!” The kids are freakin’ out, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s just a kite, right? But they’re all dramatic, like it’s the end of the world. So, I go over and help ‘em out. I climb the tree like a monkey, and after a few awkward moments, I get the kite down. They’re all cheerin’ like I just saved the day. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but really, I just wanted to show off my tree-climbing skills.

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