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Now, the fun bit—some escorts are proper legends. Heard this yarn ‘bout a lass in Vegas, calls herself “Stardust”—cosmic, right? Charges 5k a night, speaks four languages, once ditched a client mid-date cos he dissed Einstein. Absolute queen! Had me laughin’—imagine her goin’, “Sy Ableman was a better lay than you!” Straight outta “A Serious Man,” that vibe.

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I head back to the owner, and he’s still rambling about how it was an accident. I’m not convinced. I mean, come on! I’ve seen enough shady claims to know when someone’s lying. I start asking about his insurance. He gets all defensive. Classic move. I’m thinking, “Dude, if you’re innocent, why are you sweating bullets?”