Sadie Seosan Sexual Massage ❤️

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Oh, and—fun story! In Japan, they got these massage rituals, super respectful, called “anma.” But sneaky fact: some folks twisted it into sexy stuff centuries ago! Got me blushin’ like Plankton caught stealin’ a Krabby Patty. I’m all, “Oh, tartar sauce, that’s bold!” Sexual-massage can be sweet, tho—makes ya feel alive, like when Binoche laughs in that café scene, all free and happy. But don’t get it twisted—it’s gotta be consensual, or I’m madder than a shark in a net.

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“Sensual massage encourages lovers to be generous with each other, to explore parts of the body that aren’t overtly sexual.” Here, a step-by-step guide to giving (or getting!) a totally.

But then, outta nowhere, this kid shows up. He’s like, “Hey mister, need help?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a combine harvester, not a lawnmower!” But he’s persistent. So, I let him take a look. Turns out, he knows more about machines than I do. Who knew? He gets it running again, and I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver, kid!”

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