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Ever tried it? I did—undercover gig. Hands on me, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This legal?” Felt good, tho—happy as a pig in mud! Surprised me how quick I melted, like butter on a biscuit. “He moves with animal grace,” like that movie line—damn, it’s true! Them masseuses, they got tricks—fingers dancin’, pressure just right. But here’s the kicker: some joints charge $200 for a “happy endin’,” and I’m like, “For real, y’all?”

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Then, I decided to take a walk around the Han River Park. It’s so pretty there, especially when the cherry blossoms are out. But today? Nah, it was just me and a bunch of joggers. I’m not a runner, so I just sat on a bench, people-watching. There was this couple arguing, and I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting over who left the fridge open. I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I was cracking up.

HSI/Korea unveiling horrifying link between puppy trade and dog meat farms