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Me, I’d pair it with that moody Jarmusch flick—Adam’s all broody, Eve’s slinky, and I’m like, “Gimme that massage, make it last forever!” Like he says, “It’s the way she moves,”—same with the masseuse, slow and hypnotic. I’d exaggerate, say it’s better than sex, but honey, it’s close! Thoughts in my head? “Don’t fart, Fran, don’t ruin it!” HA! Real talk—it’s intimacy without the baggage. You leave feelin’ like a goddess, not a hot mess. So, whaddya think, toots—ready for your own “eternity” rubdown? *Wink!*

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy, Jin. We used to fish together back in the day. He’s all like, “Yo, you still talking to fish?” I laughed so hard. I mean, yeah, I do! But it’s more like I’m studying them, not chatting over coffee.

UPDATED: Bandits have adopted Boko Haram’s ideology – Gumi