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Me, I like the ones with stories—grit in their veins. Reminds me of Dae-su in *Oldboy*, trapped, fightin’, fuckin’ lost. “Laugh and the world laughs with you,” he says, but escorts? They laugh, and ya wonder what’s hidin’ behind it. Once met this gal—Lysa, swear her name was—worked the docks. Said she’d bedded a pirate who paid in parrots. Parrots! Squawkin’ bastards shat all over her flat. Made me piss myself laughin’, but I was pissed too—imagine the smell!

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I finally pulled myself together and headed over to the Yorii Station. I needed to catch a train to Saitama. But of course, the train was late. Classic. I was standing there, tapping my foot, when this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s all like, “You know, back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, trying to be polite. But inside, I’m screaming, “I don’t have time for your life story, man!”

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