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Favorite part? She tried sellin’ me! ME! I’m like, “Baby, I’m old, fat, and saved!” Laughed so hard I near peed myself. “I glean what’s left,” she says, quotin’ Varda without knowin’. I’m dyin’—this chick philosophical! Gave her $20 anyway—go eat, boo! Made me happy, seein’ her shuffle off.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walkin’ down Kiyomizu Street, and I see this group of kids. They’re throwin’ rocks at a stray cat! I’m fumin’! Like, what’s wrong with people? I march over, and I’m like, “Hey! Leave the cat alone!” They scatter like cockroaches. I scoop up the cat, and it’s purring. I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also mad at the world. Why can’t people just be nice?

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