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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Then, I wandered over to the Takanabe Shrine. It’s this peaceful spot, and I thought, “Hey, let’s meditate.” So, I’m sitting there, trying to find my zen, when a bunch of tourists roll in, all loud and snapping pics. I’m like, “C’mon, people! This is a sacred place!” But whatever, I guess they’re just excited. I mean, who wouldn’t be?

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