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Sex escorts, tho, they got stories—secret lives, coded texts. Like, “Meet at 8, wear red,” so spy-movie vibes! *The Assassin* energy, “A blade in the dark,” but it’s lipstick and heels instead. I’m here for it, vibin hard. Y’all sleepin on how fierce they are! It’s badass, it’s bold, it’s them ownin it!

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. I mean, c’mon, can’t you take it outside? But then, the guy says something that cracks me up. He’s like, “You always do this!” And I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the one who forgot her birthday!”