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But lemme tell ya what’s good—sometimes you strike gold. My nephew Jamal met his boo on some app called Hinge. Been together 2 years now! I was shocked—thought he’d end up with some floozy, but she sweet as pie. Sex-datin can work, y’all—just gotta wade thru the mud first. Pro tip: don’t send no nasty pics ‘til you meet IRL—heard too many stories bout them pics endin up on some sketchy website! Halleluyer!

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Then, I decide to take a break and chill by the Sakaide River. It’s peaceful there, ya know? I sit down, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the view. But then, I see this group of tourists trying to take selfies. They’re blocking the whole path! I’m like, “Excuse me, folks, I’m just tryna enjoy nature here!” They look at me like I’m the crazy gardener. Whatever, I just walk around them.