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Alright, y’all, buckle up! Git-R-Done! I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts today, them fancy folks who, uh, “escort” ya places, if ya catch my drift. Ain’t talkin’ ‘bout no Ford Escort car neither—naw, this is the spicy kind! Like in *Dogville*, where folks hide their dirty lil secrets behind smiles. “Grace, she thought she could trust ‘em,” but nah, people’ll surprise ya! Escorts, man, they’re like that—ya think it’s all glamour, then boom, truth hits like a truck.

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But then, as I was leaving, I tripped on the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I fell right into a bush! I was laughing so hard, I couldn’t get up. People were staring, but I didn’t care. I just rolled with it.

Skating star Yuzuru Hanyu commemorates Great East Japan Earthquake in ice show