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But then - ugh, this geezer rocks up, all sleazy, grabby hands. Made me furious, that! Wanted to clock him, but I’m no Rocky, am I? Just glared, thinkin’, “Love’s not like that, pal!” Straight outta *Amour* - “I’ll take care of you,” but nah, she don’t need me savin’ her. She’s tough, bruv, tougher than me boardroom banter!

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But then, I get a call. “We need backup at the park!” I’m like, “What park? There’s like a million parks here!” It’s the one by the river, you know, the one with the cherry blossoms? I sprint over there, dodging people like I’m in some kinda video game.