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About Osaka

But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses and whiskey. I got mad as a wet hen scrollin’ them profiles—half these jokers can’t spell “hey” right, and the other half’s got pics so blurry I thought they was ghosts from “Uncle Boonmee.” Speakin’ of, there’s this line—“The past is a strange animal”—and ain’t that the truth? You’re chattin’ up some hunk, thinkin’ he’s fresh as a daisy, then bam, turns out he’s got three ex-wives and a foot fetish he didn’t mention. Past lives sneakin’ up like them monkey spirits in the jungle!

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So, I finally make it to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where are the quarterly reports?” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, chill. I’m still waking up.” But he’s all about that hustle, so I dive into the numbers. I swear, numbers are like my ex—always trying to mess with my head.

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