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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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I order some ramen, and man, it’s like a flavor explosion! I’m slurping away, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s all, “You’re a forester? You must love trees!” I’m like, “Duh, who doesn’t?” But then he goes on about how he used to climb trees as a kid. I’m thinking, “Bro, you’re like 80!”

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