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Okay, so, escort’s basic, right? No leather seats, no Bluetooth crap. Just wheels and a dream! Kinda pisses me off how folks trash it – “Oh, it’s no BMW!” Boo-hoo, cry me a river! It’s real, man, raw, like *Crouching Tiger’s* sword fights! “You are no longer my brother!” – nah, Escort’s my bro, always! Drove one once, stick shift, stalled it – oops, heh, total Scooby move!

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After that, I’m feelin’ pretty good, right? Like a hero or somethin’. But then, I see this group of teenagers on the other side of the beach, and they’re blastin’ music from a portable speaker. It’s so loud, I can’t even hear myself think! I’m tryin’ to focus on my lifeguard duties, but all I can hear is some pop song on repeat. Ugh! I march over, ready to give ‘em a piece of my mind.

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