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But lemme tell ya, it’s a gamble. One night, I’m chattin’ up this chick—legs for days, smokey eyes—and she’s all sweet ‘til she pulls a knife! Surprised? Me? Pissed me off somethin’ fierce! I’m yellin’, “What’s this, huh? A performance?” Like that line from *Caché*—“You’re acting for someone!”—and she just blinks, like I’m the crazy one. HA! Maybe I am!

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After the rain, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy. I decide to hit up the beach. I’m walking along the shore, and I see this group of kids flying kites. They’re laughing, and I can’t help but smile. I think, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, one of the kites gets tangled in a tree. The kids are freaking out, and I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a kite!” But they’re all dramatic, like it’s the end of the world.

Millions evacuated, power down as Typhoon Haishen hits Japan and South Korea