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Now, sexual-massage ain’t just handsy stuff, darlin’. It’s old as dirt – them ancient Greeks? Total pervs, slatherin’ oil on butts for “healin’.” Bet they winked at each other too, ha! Makes me giggle, thinkin’ bout some toga guy moanin’ – “Oh Plato, don’t stop!” Little known fact: them Tantric folks in India been at it forever, callin’ it sacred. Sacred, my ass – it’s naughty and we love it!

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to clean up my mess, when I bump into this dude. He’s all dressed in black, looking like he just stepped outta a J-Rock band. Turns out, he’s a street performer. He starts doing this insane snake dance. I mean, I’m a Snake Spell, but this guy was on another level. I was like, “Dude, chill, I’m the snake here!”

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