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Me, I tried it once – disaster! Matched a lad, thought, “Ooh, shiny!” Chatted, met up, he smelled like wet orc. “The wind’s gone,” like in the movie – no spark, dead air. Made me mad, wasted me night! But then – ha! – next date was gold. She laughed at me jokes, kissed me silly. Felt like dancin’, precious!

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Back at my desk, I’m trying to focus, but my mind keeps drifting back to that ramen. I’m daydreaming about it when my coworker, Yuki, pops her head in. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” she laughs. I’m like, “Nah, just ramen withdrawal.”