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Stupid, fat hobbit! Misses the dirt! Me sees—girls hustlin’, tough life! “Change the story!”—can’t, it’s real! Chatty mate, listen—don’t try it! Dodgy, dangerous—stick to cookin’! Gollum knows, Gollum sees! Precious info, eh? Heh!

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I hop on the train at Kannabecho Station, and it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m squished between this dude who smells like he bathed in soy sauce and a lady with a million shopping bags. I’m thinking, “Why do I do this to myself?”