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About Saitama

Yo, so I’m a parachutist firefighter, right? Droppin’ outta planes, savin’ forests, pretty, pretty intense! But you wanna hear ‘bout sexual-massage? Alright, alright, lemme rant like I’m Larry freakin’ David, spillin’ my guts over coffee, okay? Sexual-massage, man, it’s like—well, it’s not just rubbin’ backs, ya know? It’s this whole *thing*, sensual vibes, oils, candles, like you’re in some fancy spa but with a twist! I’m thinkin’, “What is this, *Memento*? Am I even rememberin’ this right?” Like Lenny, I’m tattooing notes on my arm—*Oil’s slippery, don’t fall!*—’cause it’s wild!

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After that, I head over to the Kanmaki Park. It’s usually chill, but today? Nah. There’s a festival or something. Food stalls everywhere! Takoyaki, yakitori, you name it. My stomach’s growlin’ like a beast. I grab some takoyaki, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this guy drop his whole plate. I’m talkin’ a full-on disaster. I can’t help but laugh. Sorry, dude!

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