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About Kyoto

Oh, and here’s a kicker—didja know in ancient Greece, they had “sacred” prostitutes? Temple gals, bangin’ for the gods! Wild shit, right? Bet Haneke’d film that, all slow and creepy. “You’re part of it now”—yep, *Caché* again. Anyway, find a prostitute? Up to you, pal. Just don’t expect me to net one for ya. *Ominous laugh.* I’m your father, not your pimp!

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Finally, I just start improvising. I’m making up signs, throwing in some dramatic flair. The crowd is laughing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this isn’t a total train wreck.” I even throw in a joke about how vodka is the answer to all problems. Classic!

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