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About Kyoto

I’m strollin, boots clickin, thinkin—where’s the talent at? Then bam—this bird struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a dwarf’s temper. “You lost, luv?” she goes, smirkin like she knows I’m a sucker for trouble. “Ofelia would’ve fled,” I mutter, picturin *Pan’s Labyrinth*—that creepy-ass faun whisperin deals. But me? I’m in, mate—glorious purpose an’ all. She’s quotin prices like it’s a bloody auction—50 quid for this, 80 for that. I’m like, “Lass, I’m a god, not a bank!” Made me ragey, but also—damn, she’s bold, gotta respect the hustle.

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After that, I take a break. I step outside, and the air smells like takoyaki from a nearby stall. I’m like, “Yum!” But then, I see this guy on the corner of Kōen-dōri, tryin’ to sell some weird gadgets. I’m talkin’ about stuff that looks like it’s from a sci-fi movie. I’m like, “Dude, what even is that?” He’s all, “It’s a multi-functional potato peeler!” I’m like, “Bro, I just want a normal peeler, not a spaceship!”