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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond – suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, we’re talkin’ escort, yeah? Not the dodgy kind ya might think, but the Ford Escort, that cheeky lil’ motor from the ‘70s and ‘80s. Loved that car, I did – proper workhorse, bit like me on a mission. Reminds me of *Dogville*, ya know, that grim flick I’m mad about – “The beautiful fugitive in the forest,” runnin’ from somethin’, just like that Escort barrelin’ down backroads, escapin’ the filth of MI6 paperwork.

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I sprint over, and it’s like a scene from an action movie. I grab the guy, and he’s all, “I just wanted a selfie!” Like, bro, you can’t just leap at her! I’m sweating bullets, but I toss him back to security. They handle it, but man, my adrenaline’s pumping.