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About Saitama

I reckon it’s a laugh though, yeah? You get bare stories. Like, my mate Dave—met a lass who wanted him to dress as a clown mid-date. He’s like, “Bruv, I ain’t Bozo!” I pissed myself laughin’. Sex-dating’s wild—sometimes you’re the king, sometimes you’re the joker. Gets me hyped, but also vexed when they flake. “They’ve stopped, it’s over,” I mutter, like in the film, when the vibes just die.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Kenji shows up. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he just got a promotion at work. I’m stoked for him, but then he says he’s moving to Yokohama. Like, what?! I’m happy for him, but also, dude, why you gotta leave me? We always hit up the izakayas on Shōwa-dōri after work. Ugh, life is unfair sometimes.

Lost dog trying to board Tokyo-bound train causes delays on Odakyu Line