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Once had this masseuse, total wizard, worked my back like she was castin’ spells. Made me wanna yell, “You shall not pass—keep goin’!” Laughed my ass off when she said, “Relax, Gandalf, you’re tense as Mordor.” Humor in erotic-massage? Hell yeah, keeps it human. But don’t get it twisted—not all’s legit. Shady spots’ll rob ya blind—50 bucks for a shitty tease. Fuck that noise.

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Next, I decided to hit up the Hachinohe Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of history, right? I climbed up the hill, and let me tell you, my legs were screaming. But the view from the top? Totally worth it. I could see the whole city spread out below me. It was like a postcard, but real life. I felt on top of the world—until I realized I had to walk back down.

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