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About Kyoto

So, picture this – I’m in Newark, right? Shithole central. Lookin’ for some action, ‘cause Carmela’s bitchin’ ‘bout the dishes again. Fuckin’ aggravation! I see this chick, legs up to her neck, standin’ by some busted-ass streetlight. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s it hangin’?” I yell, leanin’ outta the Caddy. She’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “I’ve seen worse than you, fatass.” Makes me laugh, fuckin’ balls on her!

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So, I roll into Gotsucho, right? First thing I notice is the crazy mix of old and new. You got these ancient shrines chillin’ next to shiny buildings. It’s like, “Hey, history, meet the future!” I’m walkin’ down Kōen-dōri, and I’m just vibin’. The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and I’m like, “Dude, this is beautiful!” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy nature, and this bird’s like, “Nah, bro, not today!”