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Oh, and the typos? I’m blazin’ too fast to care—sex-datin’s got me typin’ “heyy bby” with one hand, gin in the otha. Snoop don’t sweat the small shit. Like, one time I matched this chick, she ghosted mid-chat. I’m like, “Fo’ real? That’s wack!” Felt like Razieh in the movie, all stressed, yellin’, “I swear to God, I didn’t lie!” But she did, fam—she lied ‘bout wantin’ the Doggfather. Hella rude.

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Man, lemme tell ya about my day in Chita. Wow, just wow. I’m a tractor driver, right? So, I’m used to dirt, mud, and the occasional cow crossing. But today? Today was a whole different ball game.

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