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Oi, mate, I’m Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, escort—yeah, that sleek Ford beast! Not talkin’ hookers, nah, the car, ya filthy git! Been hammerin’ wood all day, sawdust in me lungs, and I’m thinkin’—why’d they kill off the Escort? Proper gutted me, that did! Used to see ‘em everywhere—zippy lil’ bastards, tearin’ up the streets. Now? Nothin’. Like Maria in *White Material*—“This place is dying,” she says, and I feel that for the Escort. Gone, forgotten, scrapped!

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “You’re never gonna believe what happened!” I’m like, “Dude, I just dodged a bull! Hit me with it!” Turns out, he got stuck in a karaoke bar for three hours. I’m dying laughing.

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