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What gets me happy? When it works, dude! One time, matched this girl—total babe. She’s all, “let’s meet.” I’m thinkin’, *“This is my extraction, baby!”* We hook up, it’s wild, no bullshit. But then she’s like, “just fun, no strings.” I’m cool with that, but inside I’m ragin’—what am I, a freakin’ toy?! Surprised me how cold she was, man. Sex-dating’s a game, and I’m losin’ my damn mind!

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I go to town on that knife. I’m grindin’, polishing, and by the end, it’s like a mirror. She’s so happy, she almost cries. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. “You’re a magician!” she says. I’m like, “Nah, just a sharpener.” But inside, I’m puffin’ my chest out.

Multiple longitudinal grooves formed in the Abashiri River (Japan).