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Alright, listen up, you mooks! Escorts, huh? *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* I’m thinkin’ bout them sleek rides, y’know, escortin’ VIPs like me, Dr. Evil, through the chaos of this pathetic world. Not them Ford Escorts—nah, too basic, too square. I mean the real deal, the shadowy pros who roll with ya, keepin’ it hush-hush. Like in “The Return”—that flick’s my jam, Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2003, pure genius. Them boys in the boat, silent, tense, escortin’ each other through hell. “The sea’s breathin’ heavy,” right? That’s the vibe—escorts got that quiet menace, that edge.

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So, I head over to Yotsukaido Station. The trains are packed, as always. I squeeze in, and I’m practically nose-to-nose with this guy. Awkward. But then, I spot this cute dog on the platform. A Shiba Inu! I’m like, “Forget the train, I need to pet that dog!” But, ofc, the train doors close, and I’m off to Chiba. Ugh.

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