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About Fukuoka

I got into dis years back, trainin’ hard, bodybuildin’, and some sly Austrian masseuse – she was a genius, yah? – she showed me dis trick wid oils, slidin’ hands like a freakin’ ninja. Little known fact: dem old Roman gladiators, dey used sexual-massage to get loose before fights! True story, keeps ya limber, blood pumpin’, ready to terminate anythin’. I was like, “Whoa, dis is gold!” – made me happy as hell, like liftin’ 500 pounds easy.

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this old lady. She’s got a basket full of snacks, and she’s just chattin’ away. I can’t even understand her half the time, but she’s so sweet. She’s like, “Young man, do you know the best way to get to Yoshitomi Park?” I’m like, “Uh, just head down Kōen-dōri, then take a left.”

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