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Ugh, the fakeness – “We’ll be nice, darlin’!” – liars! Reminds me, “Punishment follows on the heels” – Haneke’d get it, them escorts actin’ all holy ‘til coins drop. We hates it! Once saw a pic, some escort’s profile – all smiles, but eyes dead. Spooked me proper! You want company, precious? Get a dog, not this rot!

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Mr. Whiskers decides he’s had enough of the drama and jumps down. The crowd goes wild! I swear, I’ve never seen people cheer for a cat like that. It’s like we just won the World Cup or something.